When I first announced that I would be leaving my job, most people asked me, "What are you going to do next?" My answer was "I don't know," and I was totally being truthful with them. At that point, the only thing I knew for sure was that I needed to leave my job, and that what would come next was a mystery.
Of course people expected an answer, and I needed to find a way to describe what my plans for the immediate future were. First I called it a gap year, but some people misunderstood that answer thinking I was taking a year off and would then return to work. Next I just told people I was going to take a year to figure out what I wanted to do. That sort of backfired on me because then I set some arbitrary deadline for myself, which invoked a level of anxiety that I did not need. It didn't matter if the answer came in a year, maybe it would come in six or eighteen months. All that really matters is working daily towards discovering the best options for me.
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| Zentangle pen and colored pencil drawing |
Leaving a safe job, a set of wonderful colleagues, and a socially acceptable career path might seem crazy to lots of people that I know. It was even a struggle for me. There were many days I would think that perhaps I had made a mistake only to have some incident happen at work and I would be remind - oh right that's why I put in my notice. For most of my life I have been risk adverse, and here I was taking a huge one. I am 100% certain that I have made the right decision.
It's taken a couple of months to feel at home in my new life. For a teacher summertime is a recovery period, and that's how I perceived it at first, but in reality summer vacation no longer exists for me. An ardent reader of self-help books, I turned to them for advice. I've created a new daily routine that sets me on my feet every day ready to tackle new challenges. I have come to believe that I am a maker. I want to live a creative life, and that's what I do. I spend several hours every morning in my newly created studio. In the afternoons, I divide my time between chores, gardening, and building my new business. AND GUESS WHAT??? I LOVE IT!!
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| Colored pencil drawing - stages of seed germination |
It's not always easy this new life, but I don't wish to go back to where I was before. All I can say to you is this, if you feel like there is a huge hole or something missing in your life, take the time to figure out what it is. Meditate, talk to a counselor, pray, journal; just figure out what it is, and then make plans on how to satisfy that need. It may not be as drastic as quitting your job, but it could be as simple as planting a seed.
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